“Welcome to Motherhood”
“A Happy Mom is a Happy Baby”
Both statements seems pretty benign. However, one is probably the worst advice/statement someone could say to a new mom. The other can be truly freeing when embraced.
During pregnancy your body can change more than you realize. After my son was born, I was tired. Which of course is usually par for the course. But I was really tired and told a co-worker just how I was feeling. She said “welcome to motherhood”. I did internalize that statement. I figured this was how it was and I wold just have to find a way to cope. I went about my normal day trying desperately to act as if everything was okay. I felt like a walking zombie. I often would have to look in the mirror just to figure out if I was doing what I thought I was doing (i.e. I thought I was holding my son but it was hard to tell). Still not thinking anything was truly wrong and this was just motherhood, just by chance I had a complete physical with blood work. The dr.’s office called immediately with the results, my thyroid had completely stopped functioning. They had never seen a level like this on someone that wasn’t hospitalized. I wept. I was so happy. I wasn’t a complete failure as a new mother (for not adjusting well to motherhood) - something was physically wrong. I spent about 7 months walking around as a zombie. It was truly painful. A little medication changed all of it. So many changes occur to a women’s body during pregnancy. Physical and emotional issues should not be just dismissed as a common occurence that all mothers experience. Talk with your doctor. Get a physical with blood work.
“A Happy Mom is a Happy Baby”
This statement can be absolutely liberating. New mothers often strongly feel that they should sacrifice everything for the health and well-being of their child. Of course, the health and well-being of their children should be their top priority. However, taking care of your child means taking care of you. I’m not going to digress into all the “sleep when they sleep” advice (which never seems to work). Ask for help or allow help to happen. Motherhood is not a contest to see who can sacrifice the most. It doesn’t matter if you have one baby or three babies, infants require a lot of time and attention. It can be physically and emotionally draining. New moms often go without showers and eating in the early weeks. But if you embrace the “happy mom/happy baby” advice, you can find a way to take that shower, brush your teeth, and eat a meal every day (if not three meals). It’s for your well being and the babies as well.
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