Most everyone worries about losing weight after having a bab(ies)y. It might be difficult in the couple months following a birth. Your body needs a chance just to recover from the physical demands of a pregnancy and birth. But once the babies are mobile and begin to eat, the worry should subside. Your activity level increases with their age.
Once the babies start eating (especially on their own) the amount of activity is taken to a whole new level. Despite efforts to be prepared, it is inevitable that you will have to get up at least once to retrieve something. As toddler-hood emerges, this once or twice a meal occurrence multiplies. I now often eat zero calorie meals. I would say in an average meal I am up and down about 5 - 10 times - runnng back and forth to the kitchen - picking up things that have fallen, etc. Of course, there are those days that sitting down is just an illusion. It can be a terrific weight management/exercise program.
It’s amazing how young children will pick up on fairness. Since Zoe woke up Katie the other day, Katie saw her opportunity to even the score. Katie woke up Zoe this time “Zoe, Zoe, wake - up!” Turn about is fair play. They need to figure these daily little battles out on their own.
Somehow I think multiples are born knowing that they outnumber their parents. Izzy and Zoe were eating dirt off of shoes by the back door (incredibly gross but a pretty regular occurrence at our house). I pulled them away and cleaned up their faces. Zoe looked at Izzy and said “Do again”. Izzy is of course up for anything replies “Ya!” So Zoe starts “Ready, set (and they both in unison say) GO!” They both ran around me in opposite directions back toward the shoes. Wholly Cow! We definitely have taken things to a whole new level. Yes, the terrible 2’s are here to stay for awhile.
I don’t even know where to begin. Things escalated to a whole new level yesterday. It started out nice and simple a trip to the bank and the local home improvement store. It was just me and all 4 kids. Sidebar - it is very difficult to push a cart with 40 lbs of sand on the bottom and 3 kids in the top with one hand (I had to carry two 15 gallon plastic totes and other misc. items with the other hand - they didn’t fit in the cart). But, honestly the store trip went very well - it was just a little physically demanding for me. 400 lbs. of dirt later we went home to start working on our vegetable garden.
When we got home home, the kids wanted to play on the swing set for a bit before we started with the garden. No problem there. I changed everyone’s clothes and shoes - knowing this wasn’t going to be pretty. I couldn’t have even imagined what this experience would be like. 15 - yes 15 trips into the house for one reason or another - dirty diapers - time outs (for eating mouth fulls of dirt - fighting, etc.) - milk - water - you name it. Zoe ate some seeds. Izzy couldn’t resist eating the dirt. Katie didn’t want to relenquish the seed packets. Ben was fighting with all of his sisters over the gardening tools and the hole spacing. We do have seeds in the ground - but I’m not sure where.
2 - yes 2 baths later I had them sitting down for lunch eating what looked like a deli tray. It was the best I could do and the fastest. I did resort to putting in a Sesame Street DVD at lunch - we all just needed a little bit of peace (Truthfully, I rarely do this - but I use it when I really need it).
It will be interesting to see if any seeds do come up.
The girls all sleep in the same room. Typically, Katie is the first to wake up. This morning Zoe was the first one up. Of course she had to take the opportunity to make sure everyone else was up as well. She started yelling “Katie! Katie! Katie!” over and over. Katie woke up and yelled back “No! No! No!, etc.” But Zoe continued “Katie!, etc.” Katie replied “No, sleeping!” Izzy of course got into the mix. It became quite the joke this morning. The girls are very funny when they wake up.
The silliest?conversation/argument is the “yes/no”. It usually occurs in the car. One will start yelling “No” someone will answer with a “yes”. It gets rather heated and usually ends up in tears. What they are arguing about - I have no idea - but apparently it’s pretty serious for them.
There has been numerous articles written about multiples having their own language. The girls did have these words they used between each other. We called it the Goya language (after the beans). It was just a series of very guttural words. Nothing every really came out of it. It probably completely stopped over 6 months ago.
Their language development is on track. At about 16 months, I did have them evaluated for speech to to make sure we were on track. The girls did wonderfully. But, they did catch a problem for Katie. While she did have a pretty large vocabulary for her age, her annunciation was way off. They thought that maybe her hearing was being effected and suggested a hearing test. We had her tested and she failed twice (Katie had also failed her initial newborn hearing test only to have passed it right before leaving the hospital - too much fluid in her ears). Katie had a number of ear infections. We were told that this might happen due to the excess fluid at birth. They recommended tubes - so that’s what we did. Katie passed her hearing test and all is well.
We’re still waiting for the 17 year emergence of the cicadas. I know Ben will be very interested to see them. I’m a little nervous about Izzy eating them. She puts everything in her mouth. I don’t think cicadas will be off limits to her. For some reason, Izzy as gotten in her mind that birds are going to come and tickle her. I have no idea where she got this notion. She’s a little freaked out by them right now (who knows that might be planning a tickle sneak attack). I’ve expalined to her that they do not have any fingers and therefore cannot tickle her (explained on a 2 yr. olds level). I think she’s relaxing a bit about it. We’ll have to see how things go outside today.
I’m still wondering when the kids will stop putting everything in their mouth. The dr. said by 4 yrs. for sure. Ben will still mouth things. We cleaned out the sandbox yesterday and added new sand - which of course looks like a buffet for the girls. They do love playing in the sandbox but things get a little out of control when one starts eating sand - they all start eating sand. Hopefully, this will subside soon or it’s going to be a long summer.
Ben had his last day of 3 yr. old preschool yesterday. It was such a beautiful day - warm with a breeze. They had all the families meet the kids about a half hour before school was over. They had a picnic for all the kids and families. It went incredibly well. Ben started having a hard time as we walked home. He started crying about very silly things. Obviously, he was emotional knwoing that this was his last day. The crying continued off and on for the next couple of hourse - over things that he really didn’t care about. We talked about his summer plans. Ben will be going back to the same preschool next year with the same kids but in a different classroom. We’ve look at the new classroom several times. Change is hard.
I’ve signed Ben up for a preschool camp 2 half days a week for the summer. Everyone is signed up for swimming class which should be interesting. Ben is old enough for the independent class. I was given several different options for the girls. The swim school has worked with twins before but never triplets. We will have 3 adults for one on one time with the girls. Ben’s class and the girls’ class run concurrently - so it will save some extra juggling. Other than that the summer is wide open. It sounds nice not to have any committments for awhile. No hurrying, no rushing, no morning stress hour - it’s all good. Camp starts in about 3 weeks.
There is a commercial/ad (I think they are for Johnson & Johnson - I’m really not sure) out now about “having a baby changes everything”. When you’re pregnant you think you know how your life will change. Maybe not everything, but you think you pretty much get the gist of it. Truly there is nothing anyone can say or do to prepare you for how your life is about to change. Both the good and the bad. You will re-define your life and yourself. Nobody knows this more than other mothers - people in your shoes or who have in the past been in your shoes. They understand - they get it.
As a new mother or someone who is about to be a new mother may want to consider joining a group of others in their same situation. It can be so comforting to know that you are not alone. Women with multiples or expecting multiples can join a mother’s of twin’s club in their area. There are also numerous moms groups (some with religious affiliations) that offer friendship, a social outlet, and overall support. The transition into motherhood can be very challenging. It definitely helps to have the support of others going through the same stage.
Depending on the nature (i.e. twins, triplets, etc.) of your pregnancy, bedrest may be prescribed for a future date. It’s a good idea to prepare yourself as best possible for your stay on bedrest. That are several things that can help ease the stress of bedrest.
Bedrest can be a very stressful time. A little preparation can help ease the transition.
This past weekend we put the turn chart into action. Each of our children’s names are listed separately on the refridgerator in a different color (since the girls are great at color association). The person’s name at the top is the one who gets to go somewhere with mom, one on one. So, everyone got a turn. The took turns being upset when they were left behind. But, I’m sure once we start using this system more, the kids will understand a little bit better.
It was absolutely wonderful to have one on one time with everyone. They definitely got to be themselves and do things that they normally would not be able to. Obviously, it was great for me as well. It was wonderful to be able to given undivided attention without being pulled in another direction.
We alos started bathing everyone one at a time. Again, I think it will take a little time before everyone understands the intentions.
I’ll have to see how this system goes over times. But, we’re off to a great start. We (Ross and I) needed to carve out some way to spend some more individual attention and I think we have found it.
The girls had their big two year old well child checkup. Everything went well. They all do have allergies. The kids have been so stuffy for the last month. I thought allergies and it was confirmed. So, we’re going to give some over the counter meds a try. In the whole sceam of things, allergies are not a big deal. The girls are right on target. They always ask all the developmental questions. I was able to answer “yes” to almost all of them. Zoe is the only one who can really Jump with both feet without holding onto anything. Katie and Izzy give it their best shot but both feet never leave the ground unless they are holding onto something. Katie measured in at over 97% for height - Izzy 75% and little peanut Zoe 50%. It’s funny how genetics play out. Katie obviously got the height - Izzy is somewhere in the middle and Zoe definitely got the short genes. We (Ross and I) have short people on both sides of the family - so it was bound to show up in the gene pool. It’s funny. We both have brown eyes. Katie and Ben also have brown eyes where Izzy and Zoe both have greenish/blue/gray eyes.
When I was pregnant with the girls, I worried that once they were born I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. I planned to use a different colored scrunchi on their ankle to distinguish them. For some reason, you just think triplets would have some similar physical features. Nope. Not in this case. The girls were completing distinguishable from moment one.
Yesterday was a big step for us. I took all the kids to a (regular sit down) restaurant all by myself for the first time. Since, the ground was pretty muddy yesterday from all the rain, I decided to take the kids to an indoor play center. The play center is about 30 minutes from our house - which in child terms might as well be 2 hours away. It was a first venture there and they loved it. I didn’t want to risk a major car meltdown on the way home due to hunger. So, we stopped at a restaurant. Things went amazingly well. Katie cried once - she became embaressed when the waiter moved her water cup away from her. Katie can be very sensitive. I had a few looks. A couple waittresses came over to ask me if they were all mine and if they were twins. With Katie’s height, people often think she is older. The kids were wonderful. I couldn’t be prouder.
I’ve attempted this in the past. But, only ended up driving in circles around restaurants trying to figure out the logisitics. However, this was our lucky day - a parking spot right in front of the entrance. It just couldn’t have gone any better. It might seem pretty intimidating to take out a group of small children, but it can be done. We (my husband Ross and I) take the kids out to eat once a week. I think this helps them understand what the expectations are when you are out in public and at a restaurant. We avoid restaurants taht have table cloths (cloth or paper). I think people think that the kids could just color on the paper. While this works for older children, young ones can find very creative uses for them. The restaurant also have to be pretty quick with the food (no over-crowded restaurants). Places that offer bread baskets right away are terrific. We’re usually in and out within 45 minutes. Unless we expect to be at a restaurant for over an hour, we do not bring toys or other diversions with us. It works for us.
Beth
We haven’t quite recovered from the girls’ birthday weekend. We had family over on Saturday night. We did our best to keep it to a minimum but when gifts are multipled by 3 it can get a little out of hand. We bought the girls a puppet theater/felt board/grocery store. It’s one of those large wood imagination centers that you would find at a preschool or library - big and sturdy. Everyone seems to be enjoying it. The other day all the kids were playing grocery store when Zoe went into the kitchen and pulled Ben’s cereal bowl down from the counter. Of course, the bowl was half full and she dumped it over her head, floor, counter, etc. She was still in her pajamas - so I took off her shirt and cleaned her up. Zoe went back to play grocery store with everyone else. However, Ben lost it. “No shirt no service” “Mommy she can’t come in the grocery store without a shirt” “Mommy, mommy stop her!” A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
Yesterday, we tried planting some annuals along side the house/driveway. I’ve been talking to the kids about how to plant flowers and the fact that everyone can dig holes, etc. So, the day came. It just didn’t go exactly as planned. Ben threw a fit because Katie was digging by his holes. Izzy was throwing dirt. Zoe was trying to help plant and pull the plants out of their packaging - however unfortunately she ripped many of them off at the stem. Then, of course, the dirt eating started. So that pretty much ended that experience.
Probably the best times that we have are the ones that are not planned out. For some (several) reasons planned activities can be a little stressful. Not only do you have to take into account four very different personalities but the group dynamic as well (which seems to take a life on it’s own). Today’s plan - preschool and a play date at our house. We’re winging the rest.
Beth
Anyone who has multiples should read Parenting School-Age Twins and Multiples. It gives tremendous insight into identity development, etc. It also addresses parental influences into that process. Some times you just don’t realize the impact you are having on your children’s development. One section that struck a nerve with me was on favoritism. I’ve worked very hard to balance my time and attention (however, Ben does get more one on one time - since the girls still nap). But, there are subtle ways it can manifest itself. What I am guilty of is in my mind (as much as I have tried to avoid it) I’ve labeled my children. “The responsible one” “The neat eater” “The aggressive one” “The moody one”, etc. I’ve never come out and said this to them but my thoughts have turned into actions.
I use a double stroller when we go out. Triplet strollers (other than the triple decker - loved it when they were infants) have a whole host of issues. Number one - they tip over easily. Number two - I can’t fit anyone in the middle seat. And the list goes on. I do have a quad stroller but it’s way too heavy for me to lift to use when we go out. So, Ben and Katie walk and hold onto the stroller and Izzy and Zoe ride in it. Obviously, Ben is the oldest and doesn’t really fit in the stroller - so that’s a non-issue. But, Katie is obviously the same age and I have her walk. I have labeled her “the responsible one” “the one that follows instructions and listens”. There was a paragraph in the book from one mother’s experience. She said that she also labeled one of her children “the responsible one”. So, that’s how she treated her twins growing up. The responsible one did in fact turn out to be responsible but the other twin never learned responsibility. The difficulty lies in un-doing what I have done. Getting Katie back in the stroller would be impossible. I do, on occasion, let everyone hold onto the stroller and walk. However, due to their age it can be dangerous, since they do not fully understand the dangers of of parking lots, etc. I just ordered a line leader rope - like the ones they use at preschools where the kids hold onto the loops. We’ll work on that this summer and hopefully strollers will be a distant memory by the fall.
The other thing I know I have to change is the fact that I do not have one on one time with the girls. The book provided me with a healthy dose of mother’s guilt. No matter what your situation is, it seems like mothers also feel they should be doing more for their children. The truth is I do not have uninterrupted one-on-one time with the girls. There is so much that goes on in a day and a week that it is hard to squeeze in some one on one time. I think the girls are ready to understand a chart system. Nothing complex - just each name with a color that rotates. The person on the top of the list gets to go with mommy on an errand (it needs to be out of the house or it really isn’t one on one time - everyone else would be screaming in the background that they want to be included). I’ll have to see how that works.
My husband, Ross, read my blog yesterday and was looking over the website. He was pleased to see a brief mention of him in the last posting. Yes, he does exist.
While on bedrest, it was Ross that made sure our son was cared for, made the meals and ran the household. I couldn’t have done it without him. He’s actively involved in the kids’ lives and is a wonderful husband.
I was reading a new book on parenting school-age multiples. It stated (based on studies) that fathers of multiples are much more involved than their singleton counterparts. Obviously, that varies case by case on both sides. But, Ross has really stepped up to the plate.
So, if his name is not mentioned he still is there, supporting me, caring for the kids, being a wonderful husband.
Beth
The girls are two today. I’ve said it over and over, I just can’t believe how fast time goes by. Looking back, I think of my pregnancy carrying them, how scary it was, not knowing what the outcome would be, being filled with fear with all the unknown possibilities of a triplet pregnancy. Then they came into this world perfect. Katie seemed perturbed that someone woke her up from her sleep. She continued to sleep most of the time for the first few weeks. Now, Katie is very physically active (and probably will be getting rid of her afternoon nap soon). She is the big sister and plays that role well. Zoe (I don’t care whatever anyone says) came into the world with a big smile on her face, happy to be here. She continues to smile and flirt like crazy. Izzy came out kicking and grabbing (yes, grabbing). The nurse that took her over to be weighed was wearing a gold necklace, she got a good hold on it (I know babies shouldn’t be able to do this at this point). Izzy was also kicking so hard, that they almost lost her on the scale. Izzy’s moods are extreme, when she is happy she is really happy, when she is upset she will not look your direction or talk to you for hours. All perfectly healthy, developing on target or ahead in some areas. The fears have given way to hope.
Beth
The girls had their first dentist check up - Ben’s 2nd checkup. Our pediatrician told us to see the dentist at 3 yrs. - so that’s when I took Ben for the first time. The dentist has quite another opinion - their first appointment should be when their first teeth appear. So - I though some where in the middle works for us. All 4 went - they saw us 2 at a time. My husband took off work to help out - definitely not something I could pull off on my own. Izzy lost it. My husband had to hold her legs down to prevent all the kicking. Katie went after Izzy and wasn’t quite sure what all the hysteria was about. Surprisingly, Zoe laid down opened her mouth and enjoyed the experience. I thought for sure she would be the one that would be the biggest challenge in this situation. Ben was an old pro. They’ve been playing with their new tooth brushes and other dental gifts all morning. I’m sure they’re start playing dentist soon. They already play doctor - each taking a turn to check the other using Ben’s dr. kit. Good news for us - class 1 teeth - perfectly spaced. Hopefully, they stay that way. No braces, please!!
The girls have their 2 yr. check up next week. I can’t believe they are turning two tomorrow. It goes by so fast! So, I have to start getting my concern list ready, so that I don’t forget anything. Number one on the list - Sand Eating. I was hoping that they would have outgrown this from last year. But, no. They have been tested to find out if they have any vitamin/iron deficiencies - nope. The girls also like dirt. Doesn’t say much for my cooking, huh?!
Beth
Honestly, I must hear that between 2-5 times a day. It’s definitely the most common thing people say to me these days. When the girls were babies, people would ask very personal questions. Mostly “were you are fertility drugs?” Of course there was the roundabout way of asking the same question “do triplets run in your family?” When I was pregnant with the girls, I did read that people will ask a million questions. For some reason, I just didn’t realize the extent. I have to admit it did bother me in the beginning. It felt like such an invasion of privacy, it just wouldn’t occur to me to ask the same questions of someone else. I guess it is natural curiousity - people want to know if science had a hand in the miracles that are my children. So, you get use to it.
Now, the common comment “boy you have your hands full” reigns supreme. I feel lucky when I hear this. Most moms never receive this type of daily validation that their job is tough. It’s tough raising children - no matter how many you have. I often feel like moms feel the need to out-do the other by rattling off a laundry list of things that declare them to have the tougher job than the others. Truth be told - it’s apples and oranges. We all have our challenges they’re just packaged differently. Parenting is an extreme sport.
On Saturday, my 3 1/2 yr. old son and I attended a birthday party at a facility that has large inflatable jump houses, etc.. Before joining in on the fun, he wanted to go around to each inflatable activity and have me read the rules. You would think the 5 minute safety/rule film they show before you enter the room would be sufficient. What can I say, he’s the first born and very responsible (he’s also extremely interested in learning how to read). It can be a little extreme at times, but it (his rule following) has proved itself to be very helpful. Especially when it comes to his sisters. In the same situation, Katie would have found the highest most dangerous thing she could and gone down head first as fast as she could. Izzy would have found the silliest thing to do to get a good laugh from everyone. Zoe, well, Zoe would not have participated instead she would probably be semi-permanently affixed to my hip for the duration.
Four kids, four completely different personalities. I think it’s one thing that definitely has surprised me when it comes to triplets and other sibling groups - just how completely different they are from one another and you. Obviously, you can see a little bit of yourself in each of them, but they put a whole new spin on things. The creativity that comes from their minds is boundless.
Beth