I found a great article in the NY Times about exercise and bedrest (see the link to read the complete article). The article addressed the complications faced by women on pregnancy bedrest. They said detrioration can start within 48 hours. The toll that it takes on a women’s body can be pretty devasting. They recommended seeing a physical therapist that specializes in pregnancy. The article also outlined specific exercises that could be performed while on bedrest.
We’re going through a favorite words and phrases phase. Izzy cracks me up with her favorite word - “chemical”. It amazes me how often (and easily) a 2 year old can use the word “chemical” in conversation. Izzy anunciates the word in a very distinct way so that you can hear each sound each letter makes. Why she loves this word - I have no idea. Maybe because she knows that she is suppose to stay away from anything mommy calls a chemical and that just makes it all that more intriguing.
Zoe is into using a couple phrases over and over - “that’s okay” & “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Apparhently, I say these things quite a bit - because she usually says them to me to help reassure me or point out a mini crisis situation.
Katie’s favorite words and phases change by the day. Right now - she’s into imitating the sound of a newborn cry. She heard a newborn cry the other day and was able to replicate it perfectly. She cracked me up - so she’s been throwing it in throughout the day.
Ben is involved in daily adventures in his fantasy world. He runs through the house talking out load telling stories - having some wonderful adventures. His main character is a person named Allison. He always says her name first before going into his fantasy world. I spoke with his dr. about this. She seems to think that this is a very healthy escape for him ( away from his sisters and something that is uniquely his). I must say that he is very creative. He acts out different scenes and has the characters learn new words. He sometimes incorporates stories he’s read into his play other times it’s just very random adventures. He gets pretty lost in his world - he doesn’t hear or see things that are going on around him (the other day his sisters were running back and forth behind him as he acted out an adventure - he never noticed). Part of me knows it’s a healthy outlet and part of me feel very bad that he had to create a fantasy world. Ah, mother’s guilt - it gets you all the time. I do feel very guilty that his activities are limited by our family dynamic.
It’s amazing to me the extent to which gender traits are innate. Obviously, there a people that fall at different places on the spectrum of what is considered boy traits and what are considered girl traits. Despite efforts to keep things gender neutral and not sway kids toward gender dominated activities/toys, children are just drawn toward the toys that are marketed toward their gender.
I was playing dinosaurs with Ben - of course they were wrestling and having a great dino battle. After the match was over, Katie pick up the dinosaurs and pretended that one was the mommy and one was the baby. Yesterday we all were playing downstairs. Ben was playing with his Rescue Hereos when Zoe came over to apply pretend makeup to the action figures. Of course, she had them looking fabulous for their next rescue mission.
It is truely amazing. The girls can be occupied by just crushing their hair and trying out different hair accessories. Ben could care less if his hair was ever brushed.
Of course, they do all play together. They all love playing store. However, the girls spend quite a bit of time getting their babies ready to go shopping. Ben is more interested in making sure they have money before they come to his store (If he is cashier).
It’s just like the old saying “boys will be boys” and (I would like to add) “girls will be girls”.
The Gentle Nest reached it’s one year anniversary a month ago. We’ve seen many changes and growth over the past year. One of the biggest changes in the past few months in the expansion into both nursing and baby products. Nursing and baby products is a nature fit and keeps within the nurturing/comforting tone of the store.
The website has also been tweaked to enhance it’s user friendliness. Now, the user can click on the products tab and a drop down menu will appear. There is now the option to see all the products we offer at one time.
We have also added additional articiles to the site to help make selecting products easier, including: “How to Choose a Pregnancy Pillow” and “How to Select a Maternity Support Belt”.
A customer satisfaction survey went out to all the customers from 2007. The responses were extremely positive and provided some great suggestions to improve the site. Some of the feedback has already been translated into enhancements on the site.
As we move into our second year of business, we will continue to focus on providing quality maternity pregnancy products while offering great nursing and baby products.
Yes, it’s been a couple months since my last post. Sometimes something just has to give a little. It’s always a balancing act.
Here’s a brief re-cap of what has been happening over the last couple of months:
Two steps forward - Ten steps back
The girls were making great progress with their potty training - going on the potty several times a day and never having a dirty diaper. Well, I blame myself for this - we’ve definitely regressed. We use the potty about 1-2 times a day and usually just to prolong the time up before nap or bedtime. I was staying on top of them making sure they were going on the potty and things got a little bit crazy and well I slacked and here we are. They still are interested - so all is not lost.
Well, it had looked like we are going to lose our nap. They were skipping about 2-3 naps a week. For some reason in the past week - we have napped every day. I’m keeping my finders crossed. So, we might be able to hold onto naps for a bit longer than I anticipated. Ben gave up napping right when he turned 2 yrs. old. So, I won’t be completely shocked if this would happen for the girls. It’s definitely hard to keep up with things (house, blog, etc.) when it’s a no nap day. Well, to be honest it’s hard to keep up with the nap.
Ben started 4 yr. old preschool a couple weeks ago. As he told me last night, it’s hard getting use to a new classroom and new teachers. He seems to enjoy it. I really don’t receive much feedback from him. Sometimes I feel like I’m flashforwarding into his teenage years. “What did you do today?” “I don’t know.” “Who did you play with?” “I don’t know” After talking with other preschool boy moms - I guess this is pretty typical responses - must be a male thing. The details don’t really matter.
Ben also started golf and ice skating. We over did it a bit this fall with the schedule. He says he wants to play hockey - so if he’s serious he needs to learn to skate first. Honestly, I’m surprised he actually went out on the ice. He’s such a cautious child and leary about trying new things. After I told him I signed him up (he asked me to sign him up), he cried about it and said that he changed his mind. Well - he absolutely loved skating. Last week, he fell on the ice and got a pretty big golf ball size thump on the forehead. The instructors couldn’t get him off the ice. He wanted to finish the game they were playing.
The girls have said they want to take dance lessons. But - at this age - they’re just too young.
The girls will be starting a parent’s day out program in 2 weeks from today. They’re looking forward to “Baby School” and so am I. A part of me feel guilty for putting them in a program - but the other part of me knows that this is probably the best thing I could do for all of us. I desparately need a break. Not just the run out to the store for a half hour break - a few hours to myself just to catch up on all the house projects I haven’t been able to touch for the past few years. A happy mom is a happy child. Well - this mom could use a little more happiness. I’ve filled my plate a little too full and haven’t been able to do it all. I need to be able to take a few things off my plate - so that I can be more present when I am with my children.
(It’s been a hard week. We had a death in the family on Tuesday. So, if the overall tone of this email is a little down that is why. I’ve been going through the whole range of emotions from guilt (not seeing her more in the past few years) to deep saddness.)
Sometimes I wonder what in the world I am “suppose” to be doing. Before having children, I had grand delusions of fund little craft times, story times, nature walks - you get the picture. While this does happen, it doesn’t exactly happen as stress-free as I had once envisioned. Story times usually involve a least 3 fights (book selection, where are we going to sit (some what floor, some want couch, some want the over-sized chair, etc.) and the who is squishing who great debate) before we can start reading. Once we start reading, someone inevitably has to get up for something and re-join the group causing the whole who is squishing who debate once again. Sometimes, we just have tears the entire time because they didn’t have the choice seat. Not exactly the quiet little stories times that break out into a round of songs and finger plays at the end. I must admit we do have our moments when everyone seems content and we have one of those idyllic story times - I hold onto those moments hoping to replicate them every time. Craft times - oh craft times - those are good for at least 5 fights. Some times I just have to step back and remind myself that sibling rivalry and fighting is very natural and can be part of healthy development. Their early experiences are preparing them for their adult life. So in my estimates if we stay the course, we’re bound to have a few Supreme Court justices, a prize fighter or two, 4 captains of the debate team, and track and field stars.
To dress alike or not? That is a good question. Obviously both sides to the argument can make some compelling points. Some of the disadvantages sited in books point out that if the general public sees twins, triplets, etc. dressed alike they will start to believe that all multiples are alike. Others argue that multiples themselves lose a sense of identity when dressed alike over time.
Most commonly the advantages discussed touch on how “cute” they look dressed the same and that really is the only reason to dress multiples the same.
There are other advantages to similar clothing. When playing in a group of children (open gym, play center, etc.) similar clothing makes them easy to find. In the physically demanding early months/years of life with multiples, similar clothing simplifies life. Sometimes it is hard to even think straight let alone pick out 2 or 3 non-clashing outfits during the morning rush.
I do have a few matching outfits and a few similar outfits (same clothing just different colors/patterns, etc.). Most of the time they are not dressed alike. When we do go to open gyms, etc., I dress everyone (including Ben) in the same color or pattern(stripes, etc.) so that I can locate everyone with a glance. I see this practice being phased out over the next 6 months or so, as they develop their own clothing preferences and styles. I don’t believe dressing them alike during the first couple years of their life has affected their individuality. They are as different as different can be. People do not look at them or treat them the same. Even when they are dressed completely differently, people still ask if they are triplets (not because they look anything alike - just because it pretty obvious how similar they are in age).
It’s clearly a personal preference.
It’s amazing how young children will pick up on fairness. Since Zoe woke up Katie the other day, Katie saw her opportunity to even the score. Katie woke up Zoe this time “Zoe, Zoe, wake - up!” Turn about is fair play. They need to figure these daily little battles out on their own.
Somehow I think multiples are born knowing that they outnumber their parents. Izzy and Zoe were eating dirt off of shoes by the back door (incredibly gross but a pretty regular occurrence at our house). I pulled them away and cleaned up their faces. Zoe looked at Izzy and said “Do again”. Izzy is of course up for anything replies “Ya!” So Zoe starts “Ready, set (and they both in unison say) GO!” They both ran around me in opposite directions back toward the shoes. Wholly Cow! We definitely have taken things to a whole new level. Yes, the terrible 2’s are here to stay for awhile.
Ben had his last day of 3 yr. old preschool yesterday. It was such a beautiful day - warm with a breeze. They had all the families meet the kids about a half hour before school was over. They had a picnic for all the kids and families. It went incredibly well. Ben started having a hard time as we walked home. He started crying about very silly things. Obviously, he was emotional knwoing that this was his last day. The crying continued off and on for the next couple of hourse - over things that he really didn’t care about. We talked about his summer plans. Ben will be going back to the same preschool next year with the same kids but in a different classroom. We’ve look at the new classroom several times. Change is hard.
I’ve signed Ben up for a preschool camp 2 half days a week for the summer. Everyone is signed up for swimming class which should be interesting. Ben is old enough for the independent class. I was given several different options for the girls. The swim school has worked with twins before but never triplets. We will have 3 adults for one on one time with the girls. Ben’s class and the girls’ class run concurrently - so it will save some extra juggling. Other than that the summer is wide open. It sounds nice not to have any committments for awhile. No hurrying, no rushing, no morning stress hour - it’s all good. Camp starts in about 3 weeks.
There is a commercial/ad (I think they are for Johnson & Johnson - I’m really not sure) out now about “having a baby changes everything”. When you’re pregnant you think you know how your life will change. Maybe not everything, but you think you pretty much get the gist of it. Truly there is nothing anyone can say or do to prepare you for how your life is about to change. Both the good and the bad. You will re-define your life and yourself. Nobody knows this more than other mothers - people in your shoes or who have in the past been in your shoes. They understand - they get it.
As a new mother or someone who is about to be a new mother may want to consider joining a group of others in their same situation. It can be so comforting to know that you are not alone. Women with multiples or expecting multiples can join a mother’s of twin’s club in their area. There are also numerous moms groups (some with religious affiliations) that offer friendship, a social outlet, and overall support. The transition into motherhood can be very challenging. It definitely helps to have the support of others going through the same stage.
There is life after bedrest. It’s been almost 2 years since my bedrest journey. My son is now 3 1/2 years old and my triplet daughters will be turning 2 years old in May. Life is good - crazy at times - but good. I wouldn’t have it any other way. The past two years has gone by so quickly it’s hard to believe how much time has past.
In the past year, The Gentle Nest opened for business. It’s been a wonderful experience. Recently, we’ve added a few enhancements to the site. First and foremost “Free Shipping”. We’ve also included an expanded Resource area. In addition, we have added several new products over the last few months (and plan to keep adding).
I look forward to adding the “Lose Your Mummy Tummy” DVD to our product list along with the Tupler splint. I would like to say that (physically) I’ve made a full recovery from bedrest and a triplet pregnancy - but truth be told I have a long way to go. A few months ago, I was a physical therapist due to a whole bunch of issues (lower back pain - abdominal weakness, shooting pain, etc.). Well - she recommended a series of exercises which are pretty much identical to the ones in “Lose Your Mummy Tummy”. The physical therapist told me that pregnancy causes your abdominal muscles to separate and bedrest (and a multiple pregnancy) only aggrevates the condition. There always seems to reasons not do start a program to address these problems. After almost 2 years, I can say it doesn’t get any better with time. So - I think my time has come - it’s time to get on the program.
I look forward to sharing more in future posts.
Warmly,
Beth