I found a great article in the NY Times about exercise and bedrest (see the link to read the complete article). The article addressed the complications faced by women on pregnancy bedrest. They said detrioration can start within 48 hours. The toll that it takes on a women’s body can be pretty devasting. They recommended seeing a physical therapist that specializes in pregnancy. The article also outlined specific exercises that could be performed while on bedrest.
We’re going through a favorite words and phrases phase. Izzy cracks me up with her favorite word - “chemical”. It amazes me how often (and easily) a 2 year old can use the word “chemical” in conversation. Izzy anunciates the word in a very distinct way so that you can hear each sound each letter makes. Why she loves this word - I have no idea. Maybe because she knows that she is suppose to stay away from anything mommy calls a chemical and that just makes it all that more intriguing.
Zoe is into using a couple phrases over and over - “that’s okay” & “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Apparhently, I say these things quite a bit - because she usually says them to me to help reassure me or point out a mini crisis situation.
Katie’s favorite words and phases change by the day. Right now - she’s into imitating the sound of a newborn cry. She heard a newborn cry the other day and was able to replicate it perfectly. She cracked me up - so she’s been throwing it in throughout the day.
Ben is involved in daily adventures in his fantasy world. He runs through the house talking out load telling stories - having some wonderful adventures. His main character is a person named Allison. He always says her name first before going into his fantasy world. I spoke with his dr. about this. She seems to think that this is a very healthy escape for him ( away from his sisters and something that is uniquely his). I must say that he is very creative. He acts out different scenes and has the characters learn new words. He sometimes incorporates stories he’s read into his play other times it’s just very random adventures. He gets pretty lost in his world - he doesn’t hear or see things that are going on around him (the other day his sisters were running back and forth behind him as he acted out an adventure - he never noticed). Part of me knows it’s a healthy outlet and part of me feel very bad that he had to create a fantasy world. Ah, mother’s guilt - it gets you all the time. I do feel very guilty that his activities are limited by our family dynamic.
It’s amazing to me the extent to which gender traits are innate. Obviously, there a people that fall at different places on the spectrum of what is considered boy traits and what are considered girl traits. Despite efforts to keep things gender neutral and not sway kids toward gender dominated activities/toys, children are just drawn toward the toys that are marketed toward their gender.
I was playing dinosaurs with Ben - of course they were wrestling and having a great dino battle. After the match was over, Katie pick up the dinosaurs and pretended that one was the mommy and one was the baby. Yesterday we all were playing downstairs. Ben was playing with his Rescue Hereos when Zoe came over to apply pretend makeup to the action figures. Of course, she had them looking fabulous for their next rescue mission.
It is truely amazing. The girls can be occupied by just crushing their hair and trying out different hair accessories. Ben could care less if his hair was ever brushed.
Of course, they do all play together. They all love playing store. However, the girls spend quite a bit of time getting their babies ready to go shopping. Ben is more interested in making sure they have money before they come to his store (If he is cashier).
It’s just like the old saying “boys will be boys” and (I would like to add) “girls will be girls”.
The Gentle Nest reached it’s one year anniversary a month ago. We’ve seen many changes and growth over the past year. One of the biggest changes in the past few months in the expansion into both nursing and baby products. Nursing and baby products is a nature fit and keeps within the nurturing/comforting tone of the store.
The website has also been tweaked to enhance it’s user friendliness. Now, the user can click on the products tab and a drop down menu will appear. There is now the option to see all the products we offer at one time.
We have also added additional articiles to the site to help make selecting products easier, including: “How to Choose a Pregnancy Pillow” and “How to Select a Maternity Support Belt”.
A customer satisfaction survey went out to all the customers from 2007. The responses were extremely positive and provided some great suggestions to improve the site. Some of the feedback has already been translated into enhancements on the site.
As we move into our second year of business, we will continue to focus on providing quality maternity pregnancy products while offering great nursing and baby products.
Yes, it’s been a couple months since my last post. Sometimes something just has to give a little. It’s always a balancing act.
Here’s a brief re-cap of what has been happening over the last couple of months:
Two steps forward - Ten steps back
The girls were making great progress with their potty training - going on the potty several times a day and never having a dirty diaper. Well, I blame myself for this - we’ve definitely regressed. We use the potty about 1-2 times a day and usually just to prolong the time up before nap or bedtime. I was staying on top of them making sure they were going on the potty and things got a little bit crazy and well I slacked and here we are. They still are interested - so all is not lost.
Well, it had looked like we are going to lose our nap. They were skipping about 2-3 naps a week. For some reason in the past week - we have napped every day. I’m keeping my finders crossed. So, we might be able to hold onto naps for a bit longer than I anticipated. Ben gave up napping right when he turned 2 yrs. old. So, I won’t be completely shocked if this would happen for the girls. It’s definitely hard to keep up with things (house, blog, etc.) when it’s a no nap day. Well, to be honest it’s hard to keep up with the nap.
Ben started 4 yr. old preschool a couple weeks ago. As he told me last night, it’s hard getting use to a new classroom and new teachers. He seems to enjoy it. I really don’t receive much feedback from him. Sometimes I feel like I’m flashforwarding into his teenage years. “What did you do today?” “I don’t know.” “Who did you play with?” “I don’t know” After talking with other preschool boy moms - I guess this is pretty typical responses - must be a male thing. The details don’t really matter.
Ben also started golf and ice skating. We over did it a bit this fall with the schedule. He says he wants to play hockey - so if he’s serious he needs to learn to skate first. Honestly, I’m surprised he actually went out on the ice. He’s such a cautious child and leary about trying new things. After I told him I signed him up (he asked me to sign him up), he cried about it and said that he changed his mind. Well - he absolutely loved skating. Last week, he fell on the ice and got a pretty big golf ball size thump on the forehead. The instructors couldn’t get him off the ice. He wanted to finish the game they were playing.
The girls have said they want to take dance lessons. But - at this age - they’re just too young.
The girls will be starting a parent’s day out program in 2 weeks from today. They’re looking forward to “Baby School” and so am I. A part of me feel guilty for putting them in a program - but the other part of me knows that this is probably the best thing I could do for all of us. I desparately need a break. Not just the run out to the store for a half hour break - a few hours to myself just to catch up on all the house projects I haven’t been able to touch for the past few years. A happy mom is a happy child. Well - this mom could use a little more happiness. I’ve filled my plate a little too full and haven’t been able to do it all. I need to be able to take a few things off my plate - so that I can be more present when I am with my children.
(It’s been a hard week. We had a death in the family on Tuesday. So, if the overall tone of this email is a little down that is why. I’ve been going through the whole range of emotions from guilt (not seeing her more in the past few years) to deep saddness.)
I bought an additional potty chair and potty seat (Dora the Explorer) for the toliet. Of course, the girls had to ratoate and go potty a little bit in each chair/seat. So, now we have 2 potty chairs and one potty seat in the bathroom. I have yet to get the other potty chair out and put it in the bathroom downstairs. I can see this will definitely be a long process.
Izzy has been dealing with constipation since she was born. She is on a laxative but still struggles at times. At first it appeared that this wouldn’t cause much problem when it comes to potty training but now I see that it does. She doesn’t want to go near the potty when she is struggling.
I’m also beginning to wonder if their interest in potty training is some type of ploy to stay up longer from bedtime and nap. Those two times seem to generate the most interest. In about 6 weeks, I think we’re going to try to start a potty boot camp.
Unfortunately my fears and apprehension have materialized. It’s crazy. Other triplet moms that I have spoken to have waited to their children are older to start this process - I guess I understand why now. It can be like a 3 ring circus. One daughter is on the potty. Another has gotten a hold of the tooth paste and is trying to squirt it into their sister’s mouth. While my other daughter (who is waiting her turn) is pulling out panty liners and sticking them to her sister’s leg who is sitting on the toliet. And no I’m not just sitting back watching all of this, I’m going from one to the next trying to stop whatever behavior is going on at that moment. Time to re-group and do something different.
It’s become pretty apparhent that we need to have three potty seats in the bathroom. So, that we can get right down to business and focus on going potty not all the interesting things in the bathroom.
Sometimes the girls want “privacy”. This works out fine when no one else is waiting in the wings. But, when everyone else is waiting for their turn, too many tantrums arrupt.
I was avoiding using additional potty chairs because of the challenges that they impose (we had one in the bathroom for Ben for quite awhile - the girls would remove the potty cup in the chair and dump (try to at least) it in the toliet even when there was nothing in it. Then they would scoop up toliet water with it. Unfortunately, I don’t think we have a choice - the potty chairs have to come back.
The girls have been using the potty every day (about 3-4 times a day). Their diapers are still wet. I’m just not quite ready to go hard core potty training yet. I’m thinking that maybe after Ben’s summer camp is over. We can stay home for a week or two and see if we can make any true progress with some serious concentrated effort. I must say though - we were at a play date at someone else’s house last week. The girls asked to go on the potty and did!
I belive we are making progress - obviously we have a way to go - but we’re on the right track.
The opportunity has presented itself and I can no longer remain in a happy state of denial. The girls have been sitting on the potty periodically and actually using it for both number 1 and number 2. They are also all aware of when they are about to wet or dirty their diapers. I wasn’t sure how this was all going to happen. I thought maybe one or two of the girls would be ready - but all three are there and very interested. I see that this will definitely be a different process than it was with my son. He also should interest around this age - actually he was 19 months old when he started to use the potty. He used it once a day consistently for quite awhile. I didn’t push it though. I was on bedrest pregnant with the girls. I was afraid of regression. He continued his pattern for a couple months and completely stopped using the potty after the girls were born. I was afraid to push it with all the changes in his life - so I let it slide. Then one day it was more than obvious that he was ready - I put him in underwear (no transitional pull ups) and that was that. He did go through a couple of phases - but for the most part it was a truly painless process. Ben was 2 1/2 years old almost 3.
I guess some of my aprehension lies in the idea that potty training will limit our mobility and add an extra layer of activity onto our day. I know that sounds selfish in many ways. But, potty training will definitely add to the workload. It also adds some safety and hygiene issues - gathering everyone to get them into the restroom while we’re out in public can be a challenge as well as trying to limit what they touch in the restroom - yuck!!!
With all that being said, we are beginning this new chapter. I know it will be a process. The summer time is as good a time as any to start potty training.
The girls all stand around the toliet cheering each other on - clapping and cheering when they hear the tinkles. They seem to want to out do each other. I’m not encouraging any type of competition between them, it’s completely unhealthy on so many levels. The girls are 2 yrs. old and very much in the phase of wanting to show what they can do and how independent they can be.
So, we are going to start off slowly. Any time anyone announces that potty or poopies are coming I ask them if they want to sit on the potty. If we are playing outside and staying home, I’m putting pull-ups on them (they feel the wettness a bit more).
We have to start somewhere. Just think of all the $$$ we will be saving once they are diaper free.
Sometimes I wonder what in the world I am “suppose” to be doing. Before having children, I had grand delusions of fund little craft times, story times, nature walks - you get the picture. While this does happen, it doesn’t exactly happen as stress-free as I had once envisioned. Story times usually involve a least 3 fights (book selection, where are we going to sit (some what floor, some want couch, some want the over-sized chair, etc.) and the who is squishing who great debate) before we can start reading. Once we start reading, someone inevitably has to get up for something and re-join the group causing the whole who is squishing who debate once again. Sometimes, we just have tears the entire time because they didn’t have the choice seat. Not exactly the quiet little stories times that break out into a round of songs and finger plays at the end. I must admit we do have our moments when everyone seems content and we have one of those idyllic story times - I hold onto those moments hoping to replicate them every time. Craft times - oh craft times - those are good for at least 5 fights. Some times I just have to step back and remind myself that sibling rivalry and fighting is very natural and can be part of healthy development. Their early experiences are preparing them for their adult life. So in my estimates if we stay the course, we’re bound to have a few Supreme Court justices, a prize fighter or two, 4 captains of the debate team, and track and field stars.
To dress alike or not? That is a good question. Obviously both sides to the argument can make some compelling points. Some of the disadvantages sited in books point out that if the general public sees twins, triplets, etc. dressed alike they will start to believe that all multiples are alike. Others argue that multiples themselves lose a sense of identity when dressed alike over time.
Most commonly the advantages discussed touch on how “cute” they look dressed the same and that really is the only reason to dress multiples the same.
There are other advantages to similar clothing. When playing in a group of children (open gym, play center, etc.) similar clothing makes them easy to find. In the physically demanding early months/years of life with multiples, similar clothing simplifies life. Sometimes it is hard to even think straight let alone pick out 2 or 3 non-clashing outfits during the morning rush.
I do have a few matching outfits and a few similar outfits (same clothing just different colors/patterns, etc.). Most of the time they are not dressed alike. When we do go to open gyms, etc., I dress everyone (including Ben) in the same color or pattern(stripes, etc.) so that I can locate everyone with a glance. I see this practice being phased out over the next 6 months or so, as they develop their own clothing preferences and styles. I don’t believe dressing them alike during the first couple years of their life has affected their individuality. They are as different as different can be. People do not look at them or treat them the same. Even when they are dressed completely differently, people still ask if they are triplets (not because they look anything alike - just because it pretty obvious how similar they are in age).
It’s clearly a personal preference.
“Welcome to Motherhood”
“A Happy Mom is a Happy Baby”
Both statements seems pretty benign. However, one is probably the worst advice/statement someone could say to a new mom. The other can be truly freeing when embraced.
During pregnancy your body can change more than you realize. After my son was born, I was tired. Which of course is usually par for the course. But I was really tired and told a co-worker just how I was feeling. She said “welcome to motherhood”. I did internalize that statement. I figured this was how it was and I wold just have to find a way to cope. I went about my normal day trying desperately to act as if everything was okay. I felt like a walking zombie. I often would have to look in the mirror just to figure out if I was doing what I thought I was doing (i.e. I thought I was holding my son but it was hard to tell). Still not thinking anything was truly wrong and this was just motherhood, just by chance I had a complete physical with blood work. The dr.’s office called immediately with the results, my thyroid had completely stopped functioning. They had never seen a level like this on someone that wasn’t hospitalized. I wept. I was so happy. I wasn’t a complete failure as a new mother (for not adjusting well to motherhood) - something was physically wrong. I spent about 7 months walking around as a zombie. It was truly painful. A little medication changed all of it. So many changes occur to a women’s body during pregnancy. Physical and emotional issues should not be just dismissed as a common occurence that all mothers experience. Talk with your doctor. Get a physical with blood work.
“A Happy Mom is a Happy Baby”
This statement can be absolutely liberating. New mothers often strongly feel that they should sacrifice everything for the health and well-being of their child. Of course, the health and well-being of their children should be their top priority. However, taking care of your child means taking care of you. I’m not going to digress into all the “sleep when they sleep” advice (which never seems to work). Ask for help or allow help to happen. Motherhood is not a contest to see who can sacrifice the most. It doesn’t matter if you have one baby or three babies, infants require a lot of time and attention. It can be physically and emotionally draining. New moms often go without showers and eating in the early weeks. But if you embrace the “happy mom/happy baby” advice, you can find a way to take that shower, brush your teeth, and eat a meal every day (if not three meals). It’s for your well being and the babies as well.
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Most everyone worries about losing weight after having a bab(ies)y. It might be difficult in the couple months following a birth. Your body needs a chance just to recover from the physical demands of a pregnancy and birth. But once the babies are mobile and begin to eat, the worry should subside. Your activity level increases with their age.
Once the babies start eating (especially on their own) the amount of activity is taken to a whole new level. Despite efforts to be prepared, it is inevitable that you will have to get up at least once to retrieve something. As toddler-hood emerges, this once or twice a meal occurrence multiplies. I now often eat zero calorie meals. I would say in an average meal I am up and down about 5 - 10 times - runnng back and forth to the kitchen - picking up things that have fallen, etc. Of course, there are those days that sitting down is just an illusion. It can be a terrific weight management/exercise program.
It’s amazing how young children will pick up on fairness. Since Zoe woke up Katie the other day, Katie saw her opportunity to even the score. Katie woke up Zoe this time “Zoe, Zoe, wake - up!” Turn about is fair play. They need to figure these daily little battles out on their own.
Somehow I think multiples are born knowing that they outnumber their parents. Izzy and Zoe were eating dirt off of shoes by the back door (incredibly gross but a pretty regular occurrence at our house). I pulled them away and cleaned up their faces. Zoe looked at Izzy and said “Do again”. Izzy is of course up for anything replies “Ya!” So Zoe starts “Ready, set (and they both in unison say) GO!” They both ran around me in opposite directions back toward the shoes. Wholly Cow! We definitely have taken things to a whole new level. Yes, the terrible 2’s are here to stay for awhile.
I don’t even know where to begin. Things escalated to a whole new level yesterday. It started out nice and simple a trip to the bank and the local home improvement store. It was just me and all 4 kids. Sidebar - it is very difficult to push a cart with 40 lbs of sand on the bottom and 3 kids in the top with one hand (I had to carry two 15 gallon plastic totes and other misc. items with the other hand - they didn’t fit in the cart). But, honestly the store trip went very well - it was just a little physically demanding for me. 400 lbs. of dirt later we went home to start working on our vegetable garden.
When we got home home, the kids wanted to play on the swing set for a bit before we started with the garden. No problem there. I changed everyone’s clothes and shoes - knowing this wasn’t going to be pretty. I couldn’t have even imagined what this experience would be like. 15 - yes 15 trips into the house for one reason or another - dirty diapers - time outs (for eating mouth fulls of dirt - fighting, etc.) - milk - water - you name it. Zoe ate some seeds. Izzy couldn’t resist eating the dirt. Katie didn’t want to relenquish the seed packets. Ben was fighting with all of his sisters over the gardening tools and the hole spacing. We do have seeds in the ground - but I’m not sure where.
2 - yes 2 baths later I had them sitting down for lunch eating what looked like a deli tray. It was the best I could do and the fastest. I did resort to putting in a Sesame Street DVD at lunch - we all just needed a little bit of peace (Truthfully, I rarely do this - but I use it when I really need it).
It will be interesting to see if any seeds do come up.
The girls all sleep in the same room. Typically, Katie is the first to wake up. This morning Zoe was the first one up. Of course she had to take the opportunity to make sure everyone else was up as well. She started yelling “Katie! Katie! Katie!” over and over. Katie woke up and yelled back “No! No! No!, etc.” But Zoe continued “Katie!, etc.” Katie replied “No, sleeping!” Izzy of course got into the mix. It became quite the joke this morning. The girls are very funny when they wake up.
The silliest?conversation/argument is the “yes/no”. It usually occurs in the car. One will start yelling “No” someone will answer with a “yes”. It gets rather heated and usually ends up in tears. What they are arguing about - I have no idea - but apparently it’s pretty serious for them.
There has been numerous articles written about multiples having their own language. The girls did have these words they used between each other. We called it the Goya language (after the beans). It was just a series of very guttural words. Nothing every really came out of it. It probably completely stopped over 6 months ago.
Their language development is on track. At about 16 months, I did have them evaluated for speech to to make sure we were on track. The girls did wonderfully. But, they did catch a problem for Katie. While she did have a pretty large vocabulary for her age, her annunciation was way off. They thought that maybe her hearing was being effected and suggested a hearing test. We had her tested and she failed twice (Katie had also failed her initial newborn hearing test only to have passed it right before leaving the hospital - too much fluid in her ears). Katie had a number of ear infections. We were told that this might happen due to the excess fluid at birth. They recommended tubes - so that’s what we did. Katie passed her hearing test and all is well.
We’re still waiting for the 17 year emergence of the cicadas. I know Ben will be very interested to see them. I’m a little nervous about Izzy eating them. She puts everything in her mouth. I don’t think cicadas will be off limits to her. For some reason, Izzy as gotten in her mind that birds are going to come and tickle her. I have no idea where she got this notion. She’s a little freaked out by them right now (who knows that might be planning a tickle sneak attack). I’ve expalined to her that they do not have any fingers and therefore cannot tickle her (explained on a 2 yr. olds level). I think she’s relaxing a bit about it. We’ll have to see how things go outside today.
I’m still wondering when the kids will stop putting everything in their mouth. The dr. said by 4 yrs. for sure. Ben will still mouth things. We cleaned out the sandbox yesterday and added new sand - which of course looks like a buffet for the girls. They do love playing in the sandbox but things get a little out of control when one starts eating sand - they all start eating sand. Hopefully, this will subside soon or it’s going to be a long summer.
Ben had his last day of 3 yr. old preschool yesterday. It was such a beautiful day - warm with a breeze. They had all the families meet the kids about a half hour before school was over. They had a picnic for all the kids and families. It went incredibly well. Ben started having a hard time as we walked home. He started crying about very silly things. Obviously, he was emotional knwoing that this was his last day. The crying continued off and on for the next couple of hourse - over things that he really didn’t care about. We talked about his summer plans. Ben will be going back to the same preschool next year with the same kids but in a different classroom. We’ve look at the new classroom several times. Change is hard.
I’ve signed Ben up for a preschool camp 2 half days a week for the summer. Everyone is signed up for swimming class which should be interesting. Ben is old enough for the independent class. I was given several different options for the girls. The swim school has worked with twins before but never triplets. We will have 3 adults for one on one time with the girls. Ben’s class and the girls’ class run concurrently - so it will save some extra juggling. Other than that the summer is wide open. It sounds nice not to have any committments for awhile. No hurrying, no rushing, no morning stress hour - it’s all good. Camp starts in about 3 weeks.
There is a commercial/ad (I think they are for Johnson & Johnson - I’m really not sure) out now about “having a baby changes everything”. When you’re pregnant you think you know how your life will change. Maybe not everything, but you think you pretty much get the gist of it. Truly there is nothing anyone can say or do to prepare you for how your life is about to change. Both the good and the bad. You will re-define your life and yourself. Nobody knows this more than other mothers - people in your shoes or who have in the past been in your shoes. They understand - they get it.
As a new mother or someone who is about to be a new mother may want to consider joining a group of others in their same situation. It can be so comforting to know that you are not alone. Women with multiples or expecting multiples can join a mother’s of twin’s club in their area. There are also numerous moms groups (some with religious affiliations) that offer friendship, a social outlet, and overall support. The transition into motherhood can be very challenging. It definitely helps to have the support of others going through the same stage.
Depending on the nature (i.e. twins, triplets, etc.) of your pregnancy, bedrest may be prescribed for a future date. It’s a good idea to prepare yourself as best possible for your stay on bedrest. That are several things that can help ease the stress of bedrest.
Bedrest can be a very stressful time. A little preparation can help ease the transition.
This past weekend we put the turn chart into action. Each of our children’s names are listed separately on the refridgerator in a different color (since the girls are great at color association). The person’s name at the top is the one who gets to go somewhere with mom, one on one. So, everyone got a turn. The took turns being upset when they were left behind. But, I’m sure once we start using this system more, the kids will understand a little bit better.
It was absolutely wonderful to have one on one time with everyone. They definitely got to be themselves and do things that they normally would not be able to. Obviously, it was great for me as well. It was wonderful to be able to given undivided attention without being pulled in another direction.
We alos started bathing everyone one at a time. Again, I think it will take a little time before everyone understands the intentions.
I’ll have to see how this system goes over times. But, we’re off to a great start. We (Ross and I) needed to carve out some way to spend some more individual attention and I think we have found it.